Changes, changes, changes

I wasn't sure if I was going to announce this or not, but here goes:

For some strange reason that I have not yet fully identified, I have decided to begin posting under my REAL NAME. *gasp* I have been using the pseudonym, "Michael" online for over six years. I've obviously also used it as a blogger in the short time that I have been blogging (since August 05).

So, my new address is: http://poorinspirit.blogspot.com/

At the new address you will find a couple posts that are edited (new and improved) versions of posts from this blog. But there is new material as well.

If you have enjoyed this blog, I'd invite you to try my new one, and to even link to it if you are so inclined.

If you have been reading here for a while, you will have noticed that I have experimented a bit. It's kind of like when I cook, I hate using recipes except for basic inspiration or to point me in a general direction. Sometimes when I cook, things turn out tasting incredible. On rare occasions, my family tells me that I do not need to try a particular experiment again. When I began experimenting with Thai cooking, the success rate dropped a bit as I worked to get a feel for the use of various ingredients and spices. In a creative process, failure and revision is a given at first. In the same way, in here I tried a photoblog, a movie and book review blog, and a prayer request blog. For a variety of reasons, I eventually deleted each of them. But I kept posting here. I'm still learnging, but I intend to keep posting at the new address as well.

It's interesting to me that one of the first blogs that I came across when I started considering blogging, had this advice for new bloggers: "never tell your friends and family that you are blogging". Supposedly this gives you more ability to tell amusing stories about them or something, or at least to write with less self-consciousness. I think there is some wisdom in that but, what am I supposed to do, tell my wife, "ah, honey, I'm going to go in the office and go online for a while. Please don't come in while I'm online?" I'm sure that would fly. Would she a.) think I was looking at online pornography or, b.) writing email to an online girlfriend? Neither of those things is going to happen. I actually really like being married to her. And it for more reasons than that she does my laundry.

Another aspect of using my real name: it makes me be a little more careful about critical things I might say about people I know or have known. ah, that was the reason for that cardinal rule, wasn't it? I think there are other primary rules that I want to live by, like, love your neighbour as yourself, etc.

May God richly bless You with His grace this day,

Gary Means aka Michael the Forgiven

Sports Analogies in Sermons

I used to work at corporate headquarters of a multinational firm. I was in the corporate communications department, which handled all internal and external messages via a variety of media.

One rule which I remember clearly was: Never use sports analogies in our communications. The reasons were many.

Some members of your target audience:
- will automatically turn their attention elsewhere as soon as you drift into a sports analogy because they find professional sports to be boring.
- may feel anger because they are not familiar with that sport or sports in general. It is as rude as using any industry-specific analogy and expecting your audience to "get it".
- may feel anger at the mention of sports because growing up they were always the last one chosen for a team, or perhaps because their spouse or father has neglected them in favour of a fanatical dedication to sports.

If the intention of using an analogy is to more clearly communicate a concept, then why use an analogy which has such limited effectiveness, or which alienates your target audience?

I used to attend a church where the pastor is a jock. I shared these thoughts with him, but he largely blew them off, feeling that my perspective was too narrow, and that far more people like and understand sports than I believe. That may be true, but if a large corporation refuses to use these analogies because they feel that they impair the communication of their messages, then how much more important is it to consider this when communicating God's Word?

Time to Manage Expectations

My wife and I went to the first meeting of the small group will be attending, now that I am not going to lead a group. On the way home we both asked each other, "Whadja think?" and we both answered, "It was ok." No enthusiasm in the voice at all. We relucantly agreed that it's better than not going at all. At least we'll get to know some other people in the church, where we are still pretty much strangers after 14 months or so.

I cringed when the leader, a former pastor, now high school teacher, said, "I thought we'd study a book of the Bible." And then he pulled out some cookie-cutter curriculum geared toward the lowest common denominator in the church.

Part of my disappointment stems from the fact that I wanted so much more. A serious conflict between my expectations and reality. And especially between what I would have done and what this group is going to do. To me, it feels like sitting down to pablum when I had been envisioning barbecued ribs. I have "tasted" so much more in other, more meaningful groups that did not start with spiritual Tommy-Tippy Cups. This group may eventually get there too, if it stays together for a couple years. Of course there's one guy there who really irritates me. He is just too cool for his own boots.

So I need to be real. There's a certain amount of elitism and arrogance going on here in my response. Perhaps part of it is a sense of disappointment that I will not be leading a group afterall, and the fact that this process was handled so ineptly. But this is people picking up the pieces after a major change in our church. One week they find out that our pastor will be gone for eight weeks. Then the leadership team decides not to use the curriculum he had chosen until he returns. So, for some reason, all the work that had gone into establishing groups was tossed out, if I understand this. Very strange. oh well. at least it's not my headache.

And, it is not realistic to expect much from a small group formed at random in a dinky church. *sigh* I need to be thankful for what the Lord HAS provided for me. I also need to keep my eyes and heart open to His working and leading in my own life. I guess I also need to look at what's going on in my heart so that I can better see who I really am, both the good and the bad.

OK. So God has other plans. again.

God answered the prayer request mentioned earlier today. I will not be leading a small group, but we will attend one. Things are a bit muddled with our pastor suddenly being gone until the end of November. Perhaps I will lead a group after the first of the year. Ideally, I'd love to lead a men's study group, with similar objectives as mentioned in the other post.

I still hope to do the one-day men's workshop, which in essence is a combination of Step One from the Twelve Steps, Spiritual Formation, Mindfulness training, and Self-Inventory 101. It's all built around presenting questions and tools in a guided experience with the intention of examining personal barriers to deeper relationship with God. A men's group might be the natural outcome of that workshop, or perhaps an opportunity to mentor again, perhaps something entirely different, or perhaps nothing will come of it.

Anyway, my wife and I will go to another small group tonight. Whatever.

Perspective

A phrase that I seem to use a lot is: "Celebrate the small victories; even when you cannot see great progress, recognize the positive momentum."

This phrase has helped others who have been discouraged, especially those early in the mentoring process. It is so easy to compare myself to where I want to be, and become discouraged by the great gulf that I see.

Lately, I have focused a lot on that gap. And truly, only the enemy benefits when I spend much time viewing that vista. Last night I pinned an article to the wall which inspired me. And that reminded me of my pastor from years ago who had a wall of heroes in his office. It was filled with about two dozen pictures of people whom he admired. Bonhoeffer, Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and severl personal friends. When I asked about it, he told me picked out a few and briefly told me one or two characteristics that he admired.

I had my own wall of heroes in my office for a while, but eventually took it down when I needed the space for something else, and to be honest, because it "didn't work". But last night it struck me anew that I need to surround myself with people whom I wish to emulate. And one way to do that is to recreate a new wall of heroes. It may not even be pictures of people. It may be quotes or concepts.

I also need to celebrate the positive steps I am taking to walk toward Christ, no matter how small or overdue they may seem. I am where I am. I can make choices. I can allow myself to feel overwhelmed and defeated. Or, I can live in the moment, live sacramentally, and begin to enjoy the opportunities God has granted me each day.

A Prayer Request

Tomorrow night I will teaching in a small home group from our church. I will be using Brennan Manning's book, "Ruthless Trust". Though I filled in as teacher once last year in another small group, this will be the first time I will actually be leading a group in this church. I do not know many people there. That makes me slightly apprehensive and but also a bit excited.

I love to teach. It's one of my passions. I love to try to shine light on the hope we have in Christ as we walk in this fallen world. I love to try to create an atmosphere where it is safe to discuss the realities, the struggles and joys, of working out our salvation with fear and trembling in everyday life.

What I abhor is a group which gathers merely to gain more knowledge. I remember a good friend of mine who was a retired history professor from Seattle Pacific University. He hated teaching people his age because usually they did not really want to learn. They wanted to be entertained. What he loved about teaching university students was that some of them actually wanted to learn. Some of them were excited about considering new concepts, even concepts which challenged the way they thought and lived.

The small groups in our church are starting with no set curriculum, at least for now. So each group can study something different. Sometimes the leader chooses the subject. Many times the group decides together. I know that some groups have already chosen to study a book of the Bible. However, I do not want to lead yet another Bible study where we learn the Greek word for the serpent's tongue, or the consider the signifigance of the mortar and pestle in Judean society.

I hunger to be a part of a group where people can learn, in time, to be real with one another, as the level of mutual trust develops. I long to be part of a group where real relationships begin and even flourish, where people invite other people into their lives in meaningful ways. I desire to be part of a group where people actively look for ways to express love to one another, not because the church leadership has encouraged them to do so, but because it is a natural response to the relationships which have developed. I wish to be part of a group where it is natural to look beyond the boundaries of our own little circle, to minister to others; not out of guilt or duty, because it is an expression of our collective heart. I know that these characteristics take time, effort, and shared experience. But I also believe these traits are straight out of the scriptures which describe the church.

My job as leader is to present material in a clear and interesting manner, to challenge thinking, and to stimulate meaningful discussion. I've been able to do that much in the past. But the rest of the things I am looking for really describe the work of the Holy Spirit. I pray that I would remember that I am not God, that I cannot control other people, and that God simply calls me to be myself, to love Him, and to love my neighbour as myself. I ask that God would help me to be faithful and humble, and to combine a healthy view of reality with a hearty dose of faith.

Brennan Manning is one of my favourite authors, and this book covers material that I desperately need to embrace. I have read this book twice, gained much from it, but I still have so much to learn. I hope that my genuine enthusiasm for this material will be a positive factor, and but that I will welcome dissenting opinions with grace and respect.

I offer my apologies for being so verbose in describing a fairly simple request. Alas, such is who I am. Michael

Around the campfire

I just finished watching an episode of a favorite TV series on DVD. In this episode a group of people are on a retreat in the woods. Of course, once it gets dark, the ghost stories begin. Afterward, one of the storytellers asks a young woman, "Do you know why people like to get together to hear these kinds of stories in the woods? They like to face their fears. Together. Somehow easier than facing them alone." Of course, the scriptwriters meant for that to be profound. It was the point of the whole episode. And whether or not it is true about ghost stories, it certainly is true about life. At some level, we long to face our fears, but it's so much easier to do it with others.

It's so easy to feel "outside" in our society. In an age of increasing isolation and independence, in a time when surly suspicion is more common than courtesy and community, we are often so very alone. I believe it's even worse when it happens within the church. We hear all this talk about the Body of Christ, about loving one another. But I think we are all at least a little afraid of being judged and rejected by other Christians. Afterall, we Believers don't have a very good record when it comes to judging and rejecting people.

I know that I have found so much more real Christian love amongst totally broken people, in Christ-focused Twelve Step groups, where we no longer hold onto so many pretensions. Whether we say, Hi, I'm an alcoholic, or drug addict, or sex addict, or compulsive gambler, or compulsive overeater, that is the ground truth which lets other people know that there IS a connection. This other human being understands. There is a common experience of suffering, and even more important, a shared sense of gratitude for a life regained and redeemed. And for those who have suffered abuse, be it sexual, physical, emotional, or spiritual, we know that others understand the fear, the pain, and the shame. We know that others will hear us and not offer hollow-sweet-jesus-solutions. We know that we will not be pitied, or become a project.

I guess I write all this tonight because those lines in that show really touched me, and made me grateful for the few authentic connections I do have. I have to remind myself of them. All too often I cannot see them, because I am focusing instead on my own imperfection and failure.