Thomas Merton: Thoughts in Solitude - a review, sort of

I think Thomas Merton's book, "Thoughts in Solitude", has been more important to my spiritual life, to my perspective on life in general, than any other book I have every read. (I know, I know, if I am a good evangelical, I should say "other than the Bible", but I don't consider the Bible to be just another book.)

In the five weeks when I was recovering from surgery to remove a brain tumor, I spent many hours in Thomas Merton's book, "Thoughts in Solitude".

I appreciate this book because even though it really addresses the contemplative life, for me it is so practical, so real. It cuts right through so much of the ego-crap that obscures my vision of myself, the world, and God.

I have given this book as a gift to men I have mentored. One of my mentees has actually memorized large portions of the book.

I'll share a few of my favourite quotes from the book. The last (in bold italics) will be Merton's famous prayer.

----

There is no greater disaster in the spiritual life than to be immersed in unreality, for life is maintained and nourished in us by our vital relation with realities outside and above us.

Real sel-conquest is the conquest of ourselves not by ourselves but by the Holy Spirit. Self-conquest is really self-surrender.

Yet before we can surrender ourselves we must become ourselves. For no one can give up what he does not possess.

But what if we have no virtue? How can we then experience it? The grace of God, through Christ our Lord, produces in us a desire for virtue which is an anticipated experience of that virtue. He makes us capable of “liking” virtue before we fully possess it.

It is true that later on we may be left with faults we cannot conquer -- in order that we may have the humility to fight against a seemingly unbeatable opponent, without any of the satisfaction of victory. For we may be asked to renounce even the pleasure we take in doing good things in order to make sure that we do them for something more than pleasure. But before we can renounce that pleasure, we must first aquire it. In the beginning, self-conquest is necessary. Let us not be afraid to desire it.

If we know how great is the love of Jesus for us we will never be afraid to go to Him in all our poverty, all our weakness, all our spiritual wretchedness and infirmity.

We do not really know how to forgive until we know what it is to be forgiven.

My Lord . . . Let me trust in Your mercy, not in myself. Let my hope be in Your love, not in health, or strength, or ability or human resources. If I trust You, everything else will become, for me, strength, health, and support. Everything will bring me to heaven. If I do not trust You, everything will be my destruction.

What does it mean to know and experience my own “nothingness”? It is not enough to turn away in disgust from my illusions and faults and mistakes, to separate myself from them as if they were not and as if I were someone other than I myself. . . to love our “nothingness” in this way, we must repudiate nothing that is our own, nothing that we have, nothing that we are. . . We must see and admit that it is all ours and that it is all good: . . .since our helplessness, our moral misery attracts us to the mercy of God.

To love our nothingness we must love everything in us that the proud man loves when he loves. But we must love it all for exactly the opposite reason.

The spiritual life is first of all a life. It is not merely something to be known and studied, it is to be lived. . . If we are to become spiritual, we must remain men. . . .Let us not fear the responsibilities and the inevitable distractions of the work appointed for us by the will of God. Let us embrace reality and thus find ourselves immersed in the life-giving will and wisdom of God which surrounds us everywhere.

First, let us be sure that we know what we are doing. Faith alone gives us the light to see that God’s will is to be found in everyday life. Without this light, we cannot see to make the right decisions. Without this certitude we cannot have supernatural confidence and peace. We stumble and fall constantly even when we are most enlightened. But when we are in true spiritual darkness, we do not even know that we have fallen.

The more we are content with our own poverty, the closer we are to God, for then we accept our poverty in peace, expecting nothing from ourselves and everything from God. - Poverty is the door to freedom, not because we remain imprisoned in the anxiety and constraint which poverty of itself implies, but because, finding nothing in ourselves that is a source of hope, we know there is nothing in ourselves worth defending. There is nothing special in ourselves to love. We go out of ourselves therefore and rest in Him in Whom alone is our hope.

If we were really humble, we would know to what an extent we are liars.

For true humility is, in a way, a very real despair: despair of myself, in order that I may hope entirely in You.

My Lord, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am actually doing it. But I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, You will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust You always through I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will fear not, for You are ever with me, and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.